Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Ok, a challenge for all you dieticians/nutritionists/haters of all good tasting things. I need a Mommy Diet. Not a diet where you have to buy things that no kid would eat, like half a cup of field greens with an olive oil and dijon vinagrette that you make yourself. I am not interested in cooking 2 or 3 or 10 different meals every night. And not something that makes nasty grown-up food 'kid friendly'. Newsflash tasty haters, making food "fun" does not make kids eat it. My kids will not eat brussel sprouts that happen to be shaped like Mickey Mouse, because guess what, they're still brussel sprouts. Like Mickey Mouse would ever eat brussel sprouts - pretty sure he didn't authorize that character license. I need a diet that involves chicken nuggets and barbecue sauce, which is my son's only form of protein. I need a diet that counts me eating my son's half-eaten peanut butter sandwich, which I finish because somewhere in the back of my mind is my mom telling me there are starving children in Brazil who would fight like rabid dogs over that sandwich. Seriously, there are no diets out there for moms with small kids. Last night for dinner I had two handfuls of Wheat Thins and four fudge cookies. I'm sure there were some vegetable particles in the Wheat Thins. Can someone please tell me that when I make my kid Hamburger Helper and stir in a bag of steamfresh peas that makes me an awesome meal balancer? Oh and by the way, I am not only not buying seperate grown-up food, I'm not buying expensive food. If you're going to hook me on your diet, you better offer a free trial and a coupon. I don't buy my groceries without at least covering the tax via coupons, sales, rebates etc. In fact, what I would like you to do is prepare some of those prepared meals that you order off TV infomercials but that is for the whole family, which means the babies have to think it's more on the order of Kid Cuisine. And if it happens to help clear my post-pregnancy acne and stretch marks, I would be ever so grateful.