Usual Pregnancy Rant

So about this time in my pregnancies I get so cranky that I have to rant somewhere. You get to be the lucky ones to hear this one. I have about 3 weeks left, and let me tell you, I have been done for about 3 months. I have personally decided that pregnancy is the best argument against evolution that I have ever heard of, since I'm pretty sure if we had been pregnant for the past million years it would have been one of the first things that we evolved away. There has got to be an easier and more efficient way to reproduce.
I recently read a thread on one of the mommy forums I check occasionally by pregnant women feeling sorry for those of us who don't like being pregnant. What I wonder is how terrible do you normally feel that pregnant feels better than not pregnant? There is a reason that God calls pregnancy part of our curse, ladies, and I think that it's just fine to embrace it. For those of you who have never been pregnant, it involves all sorts of fun stuff like (TMI alert) constant fatigue (and not your normal fatigue, I'm talking narcolepsy to the point where your other children could be jumping on the couch right next to you and you can't keep your eyes open), memory loss - of the embarrassing kind where you lose names of loved ones and I personally find myself trying to explain to my husband that we need to go get this round thing that's not red or yellow but kind of in between from that one place where we buy food b/c I can't remember the other words, nausea - although I've blessedly avoided most of that one, being grossed out in general by food and anything you can smell, massive weight gain in a short period of time that has no guarantee of going anywhere even after delivery, stretch marks from said weight gain that make you look like you've been mauled by some sort of giant beast - which of course Matt maintains that obviously I was, various fluids constantly dripping from various orifices (I'll let you ruminate on that one), constipation, diarrhea, flatulence, itchy skin - palms are the worst, skin discoloration, constant joint popping thanks to this awesome little hormone that relaxes your bones to prepare for the hip stretching necessary to shove that giant head on through, general aches and pains, pregnancy-induced carpal tunnel in your wrists, and I'm sure the list goes on but I can't remember it all right now. Wondering now why preggos are cranky? But you say, there's nothing like feeling the movement of the baby. You would be right. Sometimes it's really cool. Sometimes the kicks break your ribs (seriously, happened to a coworker of mine). My oldest had this habit of propping his knee on my ribs, and just pushing trying to stretch out. This one likes to have hiccups against my pelvis that's just a constant thud, thud, thud, thud, on one tiny area of bone. And of course there's the general inconvenience of getting progressively off-balance, especially when you have other small children who demand to be held. Ever tried to open a public bathroom stall and squeeze in when you're 9 months pregnant? Guess what, they open inward, meaning you have to somehow manipulate your giant torso into the stall, close the door, and then repeat the maneuvers to get out. So let the preggo have the handicapped stall next time you think about it, as it usually opens out rather than in. This doesn't even get into the comments you deal with, the constant questions about when you will deliver, why haven't you delivered, why don't you schedule it, why did you schedule it, are sure it's not twins, you need to eat more b/c you haven't gained enough, stop eating, you only need an extra 300 calories and you'll never lose the weight, you have a butt baby, you've lost your butt, are you breastfeeding, are you circumcising, etc etc etc. Did I mention that you just generally feel like you're constantly out of breath and exhausted, and everything hurts? Yeah we get cranky. Cranky enough to welcome any pain labor might bring if it means that pregnancy will be over.
Now I work in the field of adoption, so don't get me wrong, I'm happy that I get to experience pregnancy. I know how hard it is on people who are dealing with infertility. But that doesn't make pregnancy any easier or more fun. And just like my adoptive parents, I can't wait to get the baby into my arms. Honestly, I can't wait to get him into my husband's arms, so that I don't have to carry him for a little while.

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